Seizure Education In The Midst Of A Whole Lot Of Sports Mania

     Mugs of coffee and granola bars in hand, we headed out bright and early for Iowa City last Wednesday morning.  With an 8 o'clock appointment time, we were still forced to park near the top of the parking garage but at least not all the way at the top this time.  We easily made our way to the Neurology Clinic and were the first ones there.  After a little bit of insurance questioning, we went right into the patient room and started sharing Heath's story with a female doctor.  Not even a nurse or an intern!  We gave her every last bit of information that we could think of and asked several of the questions on our list before she proceeded to do a physical examination.  Then she said that she would share all of that with the doctor who our appointment was really with, and then he would be in to see us.  She actually came back in with him, and amazingly, we did not have to start from scratch all over again!  What a blessing that was!

     Because we do not know yet whether the tumor is active and growing, a lot of things simply cannot be explained at this time.  Once the repeat MRI is done on December 7, that will help us determine our next course of action as far as the tumor is concerned.  If it has not grown at all, then I'm sure we'll need to keep monitoring it for a while, but in that case, it is more likely that it is just a developmental abnormality that showed up on the scan and nothing to really be concerned about removing.  If it has grown, then we'll start delving into what type of tumor it is, whether it's cancerous or not, and whether or not it will need to be removed.  If it's gone, then we'll just praise the Lord for a miraculous healing!  Wouldn't that be a cool Christmas gift?!?

     In the meantime, we had the opportunity to discuss with this doctor, the epileptologist, all the things related to the seizure.  My understanding is that if seizures come randomly out of nowhere for no good reason, then a diagnosis of epilepsy is probably given, but if seizures come as a result of a high fever, infection, etc., then it's not considered to be epilepsy.  The doctor made a point of saying that just because we were being seen by an epileptologist in an epilepsy clinic does NOT mean that Heath has epilepsy.  It's too early to make that determination.  In fact, he was even cautiously calling it a seizure.  I'm not sure I understand why that term is so carefully used, but I'm thinking that in our case, it has something to do with the fact that no one actually saw Heath's "episode," and therefore, there is hesitation in labeling it a seizure.  In our minds, it was sure a seizure, and until they come up with some other name for it, that's what we'll continue to call it.   

     We were able to discuss with him all of the things that had been lurking in the back of our minds as far as the seizure.  My dad's family does have a few members who deal with them, so we gave them as much information about all the family genetics that we could.  We discussed the tics that Heath has struggled with throughout his lifetime and the eye condition, keratoconus, that he was diagnosed with a year or two ago, and this doctor felt that neither one had anything to do with the seizure.  He explained to us that maintaining a healthy lifestyle by getting enough sleep, eating properly, exercising regularly, limiting caffeine, and avoiding stress will all help in preventing seizures.  It's just a good idea.  In other words, those factors won't necessarily cause seizures, but it sure can't hurt to take good care of yourself just like you would to prevent anything like heart attacks, strokes, etc. 

     Finally the consultation boiled down to the decision of whether or not to have Heath continue on the Dilantin medication or not.  We had been confused early on by two doctors telling us not to put him on medication and then the third doctor almost being offended that we hadn't put him on it per his advice.  This doctor explained to us that it's always a controversy in the medical world.  Dilantin has been an effective medication for many years and works well for many people, but there can be some long-term side effects that aren't real desirable.  For instance, it can affect your kidneys, and if you choose to use alcohol too, that can make it a bigger problem.  Other than some initial symptoms which may have been caused more by a flu bug or stress, Heath has felt none of the short-term side effects thus far, so that is a good thing.  In fact, every day I ask him how he feels, and he responds with "Great!"  That does a mother's heart a whole lot of good!

     Seizures typically will come on very suddenly and with no warning whatsoever.  Occasionally people will have some little inkling ahead of time like a funny taste in their mouth or a feeling in their stomach or whatever.  It can be different for everybody.  Obviously if you're prone to have a lot of them, you would be more likely to recognize those symptoms, but if they only occur very occasionally, it would be harder to pinpoint any particular sensation. 

     Sometimes people will have one seizure and never have another one for the rest of their life.  According to this doctor, when people have a seizure, there is a 40% chance they will have another one in their lifetime.  If there is an abnormality in their brain, such as in Heath's case, that rises to 50%.  He gave us an example of a man who had one seizure and then another one 15 years later.  The real dilemma then becomes whether or not you want to be on medication for the duration of your life and thereby take the chance of causing or complicating other physical conditions down the road OR whether you want to take the chance of not being on it and then being more prone to danger to yourself and others if you were to have another one.  Even if you're on medication does not mean that seizures won't happen, but obviously the likelihood is far less. 

     Again, because we do not know yet whether Heath's tumor is growing, we have made the decision to keep him on the medication for now.  When a seizure happens, it's like a thunderstorm in your brain, and we certainly don't need that to happen.  At this point in time, the doctor has no way of knowing whether the seizure and the tumor have anything to do with each other.  There are many pieces to this puzzle.  The doctor ordered some bloodwork to be done just to get a picture of where certain levels are now that he's been on the Dilantin for a while.  We were informed that we wouldn't hear any results for five days, and they actually just came in the mail today.  Everything looks good with the exception of a Vitamin D insufficiency. 

     If the repeat MRI of the tumor on December 7 shows no signs of growth or concern, then this doctor and our neurosurgeon will talk about the wisdom of weaning him off the Dilantin just to see what happens.  Our logic in doing so then would be that while he's not driving anyway, that would be one of the safest times to experiment.  Plus if he waits until some further time to try not using medication and ends up having a seizure again, a new six-month window of "no driving" would start all over again.  That's just a standard restriction given to anyone when they have a seizure.  We'd much rather tack on a couple extra months now if necessary.

     All in all, we are extremely pleased with our new doctor so far.  In fact, both of the ones we saw were outstanding in their bedside manner.  We found them to be very willing to patiently discuss everything with us and walk through the process in a conscientious and methodical manner.  We walked out of there with smiles on our faces because we felt as though all our questions had been answered, and we felt as though a plan had been devised.  Praise the Lord for all of that!

     While sitting in the waiting room waiting for the blood tests, we had an interesting conversation.  This man came around the corner and said to us, "Hey, dudes, what's going on?"  Haley has this thing about loving "cute old men," so I really wanted to get out my camera and take a picture for her because he would have fit the bill, but I refrained.  It was very apparent to us that he just needed someone to talk to, so we listened to his war stories for a while.  Supposedly the "fanny pack" around his waist was the same one he used in the Vietnam War, and he was so proud of it and especially proud of being a Marine.  As a mom, I couldn't help but think about the interest Heath had in the Marines and in the Navy at different times and then wonder how his life would have been affected if he had ever gone down either of those paths, and then there was this real sense of gratitude that washed over me for all of those who have served our country sacrificially.  Veterans Day has probably never made more of an impact on me than it did at that moment in time. 

     After giving up three vials of blood, we checked out and made our way outside to another beautiful 70-degree Iowa fall day!  Heath convinced us to take a little walk around Kinnick Stadium where the Iowa Hawkeyes play football, and then we drove over and saw the Carver Hawkeye Arena where the girls' basketball team was practicing.   

     It's interesting to hear Heath share some of his personal connections with some of the guys who play for the Hawkeyes who are his age.  He brings a little Hawkeye mania to our family, and we even found all of us as a family engrossed in the Iowa vs. Wisconsin game on TV a few Saturday afternoons ago.  If you know us at all, you know that's not a real typical activity for our family, but this fall has brought on way more sports craziness than we've ever experienced in one season. 

     When Haley was elected as one of the swim team captains a year ago, we knew that meant that we as parents were actually elected too.  It is a huge job, and we went into it with some trepidation.  We have been learning all the intricacies of the sport right along with her, but she had practices every day with a coach, and we just had the occasional meets to attend with other parents who all seemed far more knowledgeable than us.  Let me tell you . . . it was a little intimidating, and we were pretty clueless throughout the first two years!  Last year we finally started getting a grip on it, and now this year with Haley as a senior and Kelsey as a freshman, we dove in (pun intended!) and did everything we could to support this unique opportunity that we were given with both girls on the same team.  We even bought matching shirts this year and wore them proudly to every meet! 

     When they joined the team, they agreed to being at school at 5:15 a.m. two mornings a week for swim practices, two mornings a week at 5:45 a.m. for weightlifting, every day after school for swim practices until 5:30 p.m., and then again on Saturday mornings for at least a couple hours.  The moms take turns bringing breakfasts to school for them every morning, they provide other occasional team dinners and Saturday morning breakfasts throughout the season, and they feed both teams at the school after every home meet.  These girls eat well throughout the season! 

     They are a closely knit bunch because of all the time they spend together, but then they are together even more because of all their other traditions:  the annual kickoff picnic, the car wash fundraiser, the triathlon, the scavenger hunt, etc.  The list goes on and on.  The Friday night before the big districts conference, our yard looked like this:

     It's a tradition.  Every parent gets called ahead of time to get their permission.  One parent commented that their neighborhood loves to see her daughter get all the attention; we actually had a neighbor come and tell us that we got TP'd and that it was going to rain the next day.  We have a parent here who is pretty insistent on getting it cleaned up before morning anyway, so we rallied together and picked up a garbage bag stuffed full of toilet paper.

     The next morning we all went to districts in Muscatine.  The girls did very well, and there was a team party afterwards.  I think they liked having the whole family at their meet!

     The next weekend Heath's friend Ryan came out for the weekend, and they headed to Chicago for an overnight visit with Heath's friends at Moody.  We had our big annual compliance meeting at the office all Saturday morning, and Harris and Keaton spent their afternoon plowing with a tractor club that Harris belongs to.

     The girls and I were in Muscatine again for the afternoon at the regionals conference, and then we all reconvened at our office where we held the team party afterwards.  The big event of the evening was to watch the computerized results from across the state flash up on the big screen so everyone could see who all qualified to swim at the state meet.

One crazy bunch of girls!

     As if that hoopla wasn't enough for these normally nonsports-minded parents, the next weekend we got up super early and left for Marshalltown for the state meet!  We were there by 8 a.m. so that we could stand in line in the gym until 11 a.m. when they opened the doors for the seating, and then at noon the actual event started.  Crazy stuff.  Haley and I had gone together last year and had a blast, and of course Kelsey wanted to go this year too, so we convinced Harris that it would be fun for him to go with us.  Does he look like he's having fun on that gym floor? 


     The meet was extra fun for us because our biggest competitor ended up being the West Des Moines Valley team which is coached by my cousin Shawn De Boef.  I was so proud of both teams that at times my eyes were welling up with tears because these girls have all worked so hard to get this far!  The Ames team mopped up in 1st place, but the title for 2nd and 3rd came right down to the very last race of the day.  We ended up losing to WDM Valley by like .4 of a second, so it was a really super close, fun, and bittersweet finish.  They beat us overall by 4 points.  By the time we got back and had one more team party, I think Harris was convinced that it was a fun day that he would do over again, even though his female passengers were very sleepy while he was driving.  He's such a trooper!

     We broke away from swim season last Friday and took the youngest three kids to watch the Bettendorf Bulldogs play in the state semifinals at the Uni-Dome in Cedar Falls.  Even though we lost to Iowa City 21-7, it was a fun family outing for all of us.  Keaton thought the whole experience was pretty cool and enjoyed sitting with his future Bulldog teammates who dream of playing there in 2017, and the girls enjoyed hanging out with all their friends.  We had really hoped to watch Haley's class of 2011 from Pella in the state finals game this weekend, but they lost their semifinals game at the Dome last night too. 



Our nephew, Karson, who could have been down on the field with the team, but because he recently broke his leg in a football game, he played with the drumline instead.

     Saturday morning came, and Kelsey and I launched head first into preparation mode for the final event and responsibility of our swim season:  The Banquet on Sunday night.  Because the other captain moms had done a lot of the preparations for the state meet, my role became chief coordinator and decorator for this special event which commemorates the season.  Decorating is NOT my natural giftedness, and it takes a LOT of stressful thinking for me to come up with a plan, especially when the budget is so limited, but once the creative juices are flowing, then they have a way of getting away with me.  Before the weekend was over, the whole family was heavily involved, and it took every last ounce of commitment they could give to help me pull it off successfully.  The two fish signs that adorned our front yard all season long became my inspiration.

     Kelsey, our artist, was given the first task of creating a much smaller version of the fish so that I could scan it into my computer and create an SVG cut with my SCAL software that I could cut out with my Cricut.  (My scrapbooking friends will appreciate that lingo.)  That little machine just chirped and chirped all night long as we cut out sheets and sheets of fish, cupcake wrappers, and other accessories.  Kelsey became the chief artist of the project. 

Side comment:  Kelsey cleaned her fish bowl in honor of the occasion and set it there for fun, but her poor fish must have gotten jealous because he died that evening.  Sad.

     She did most of the drawing herself, but everyone else pitched in too by assembling, gluing, cutting and curling ribbon, helping with Sunday lunch, cleaning up, and picking up the balloons and cupcakes.  They were all such awesome help, and there is no way I could have done it without any of them, including Jenny!  Finally it was time to load the van with all our goodies and head over to The Lodge and get everything set up. 

     The event was a smashing success, the seniors were honored for the evening, the team had fun, and that's all that really mattered. 

     This season of our lives has come to an end.  It's been a fun, exhausting, and exhilarating ride, and we anticipate doing it all over again when and if Kelsey is chosen to be a captain in a couple of years.  We are so incredibly proud of both our girls (and our boys, of course).  As completely opposite as they are, they have found common ground here and drawn closer together.  They have learned so much, done so well, and been great role models to their teammates.  The energy they have poured into this program has been incredible, and we trust that the benefits they have received will serve them well the rest of their lives.  It's definitely given us a whole host of treasured memories.  Thank you for letting me share them with you. 

"So How Is Heath Doing?"

"Good." 

That's the easy answer that rolls off the tongue.  And for all practical intents and purposes, he really is doing pretty good most days.

Imagine yourself being a 20-year-old male who has just spent the last couple years of your life trying to figure out what in the world you want to do with your future.  You've spent a lot of your life on the farm and been surrounded by farmers who can't imagine doing anything but farming.  You've been given opportunities to drive anything and everything a whole lot younger than most kids.  You've felt trusted, learned work ethic, and been raised to be independent and responsible.  Your dad felt called to leave farming when you were 10 and moved you to the city when you were 13.  You've watched him build his own business in the financial services industry, and you've been privy to both the joys and frustrations of being self-employed.  You've grown up surrounded by Christians, given your life to Christ, and even took a strong stand of your own which drastically changed the course of your life right before your senior year of high school, and it took you back to living on the farm with your grandparents right after your grandpa had been diagnosed with cancer.  Next you spent a year and a half at Moody Bible Institute in downtown Chicago before deciding that full-time ministry was not really the right path for you.  You come back home, explore working with your dad, and think about going to the Navy.  You adjust to living at home again with your family, you miss dorm life and the camaraderie of your friends, and you are challenged spiritually.  Your friends are starting to get engaged, and you have a girlfriend you love and adore.  You watch as friends graduate and look into getting their first real job and think about the student loans they'll have to pay back and wonder what happens to them if and when they get laid off.  You finally decide to take advantage of a great scholarship opportunity and at least get a bachelor's degree under your belt for now.  You see a new friend enter into a relationship with Christ, and you tell your mom that you've been inspired by his witness, and you're ready to draw closer to Him again. 

And then September 2010 happens.  You're back in school and enjoying it.  Your grandpa passes away from cancer, and you know you're going to miss him like crazy.  You stand up in your best farm friend's wedding and know that your friendship will never quite be the same.  You're very excited about your new job as a farmhand.  The very first day on the job, you followed your boss's instructions and end up getting a tractor and 1300-bushel grain cart full of corn stuck in a wet spot that you had no way of knowing about, and even though you're a bit humiliated, your boss is gracious.  You have a grand mal seizure two days later and have to tell that same boss the next day that you can no longer work for him because you can't drive heavy machinery for six months.  In fact, you can't drive anything for the next six months, and you're now at the mercy of everyone else's schedules.  You've totally lost your independence, and you are forced to live with the fact that there is nothing you can do to change it for now. 

And then you're told you have a tumor in your brain. 

Up until then, you could never have imagined that something was wrong.  Now, every single movement you make is scrutinized because of this new knowledge.  You really don't feel any different than before you knew, but now that you know, you overanalyze any little thing that seems even the tiniest bit strange or different.  In fact, your life is suddenly on display, and everyone is watching you, waiting for some new bit of information.  Some people might even be guilty of making your situation sound a little bit worse than it really is just because it makes a better story.  You're told to wait, and therefore, everyone else waits with you.  Nothing really changes.  You don't want to wait, you just want things fixed and back to normal, and you want to wake up from this nightmare.  In your darkest and loneliest moments, your fears and worries threaten to consume you, but you have to just wait.  You miss your grandpa; you miss farming; you miss your good health.

At the same time, you start experiencing a little more love and concern than normal from people.  Your family basically treats you the same, but yet there is a little deeper sense of love that permeates the home.  Your time together is even a little more cherished than usual.  Your sense of humor is still intact, and once in a while, you even throw caution to the wind and make a joke about a tumor.  You experience tremendous love and support and 110% commitment from your girlfriend even through the difficult times and even when most girls would have been tempted to bail and give up on the relationship.  You're being sent texts, emails, cards, and messages that remind you that people care and ask how you are.  Friendships are renewed and strengthened.  Scripture verses of encouragement are being shared with you, and you wonder just how God will choose to heal you.  You pick up your Bible a little more than you had been, and you pray a little more than you did before.  Prayers are even being said requesting that this thing called a tumor would miraculously disappear, and your faith in God is stretched and challenged like never before.  You know that people are watching you, and you wonder how your testimony will impact the lives of others.  You want to be strong, and most of the time you are.  Ultimately, you know deep down that your faith in God is the only thing that will get you through this, and you're learning how to fully lean on Him and find strength and comfort in Him while you continue to wait. 

"So how is Heath doing?"

"He's good."

The House on the SOLID Rock

     Every once in a while, our family likes to just take a day and go somewhere just for the fun of it.  We talk about doing it a whole lot more than it actually ever happens though.  The older the kids get, the harder it is to find the right day to all get away together and the right kind of thing that is of interest to everyone.  Harris had been in Wisconsin last week and was enthralled by all the vivid colors of fall along with the farmsteads decorated with red barns, blue silos, and green machinery, all against the backdrop of the beautiful sky.  He suggested that we take a little road trip together this past weekend and do some sightseeing and take a few pictures.  The girls and Keaton had just finished their first quarter of school, so there were no homework pressures for them, but unfortunately, Heath was still in catch-up mode and had a big test on Monday, so he had to make the decision to stay home.  It's moments like these where we all realize that our family dynamics are changing, and they are hard, but sometimes we just have to let go and move on.  Having all of us plus Jenny sitting together in one row at church on Saturday night was priceless for me, though, and as a mom, my heart was full of gratitude that at least we were all together for that.  Afterwards, we all enjoyed a birthday party for our nephew Karson, so we had a great family night together. 

     Sunday morning we got up and had our usual coffee cake, packed a picnic lunch, and headed out in our van.  We had no real agenda or destination in mind, and the only plan was to enjoy the day together.  The trees in Iowa weren't in their prime anymore, but as we kept driving, we kept hoping that eventually we would view those same spectacular sights.  The best view we found in Iowa was at Bellevue State Park where the kids and I had taken our French student, Charlene, this summer, but it was fun to show this same spot to Harris and Haley this fall. 

     About the time we crossed over into Wisconsin, the kids were starting to doze off in the back seats, and the atlas was in my hands.  Harris and I were looking at a couple different scenic routes we could take when I happened to comment that "The House on the Rock is over here."  We had heard of it before, but we had no idea what it really entailed.  Haley, however, popped up from her sleepy state and exclaimed, "The House on the Rock???  That's so cool!  We have to go there!  That would be really fun!"  She had been invited to go there a few years ago with a friend, and it immediately conjured up very fun memories in her.  Her logic was that if the trees were somehow a disappointment, this would be a fun thing to see instead. 

     So after some discussion, we decided that we'd head that way, and if it looked like something of interest, we'd maybe check it out.  In our minds, it was going to be this little house built on a rock in some precarious way, we'd view it from afar, maybe have a tour of the inside, and then we'd be on our way again.  Oh, no!  Soon enough, we discovered that it was so much more than that!  We spent the next three hours there checking out every nook and cranny of this house that this man, Alex Jordan, built and two more buildings worth of exhibits of all his collectibles and displays of his very creative and imaginative giftedness.  We could have spent much more time there, but towards the end our minds were fried, and we felt very overstimulated.  Words cannot even begin to describe what all we saw that afternoon!  We had to laugh at their strategically placed "Fresh Fudge For Sale" at the end because a little chocolate did sound very tempting! 

Here are just a few of the pictures we took that day.


Keaton, Kelsey, and Haley at the beginning of the tour.

   

One of the many displays of musical instruments -- this one is very simplistic.



Part of the carousel he created using 20,000 lights.

     One of the most distinct things we experienced was what was called "The Infinity Room."  It's a totally separate room that hangs off the side of the house and extends 218 feet into space and 156 feet above the valley floor.  We could walk out in it and look through a glass piece of flooring.  It was pretty impressive until we could feel it swaying a little bit, and then we were pretty glad to be back in the main structure again. 



Do you see how it keeps getting narrower the further you look?



We weren't allowed to go any further than this.



Here's a view of the outside that we saw later!

     As I was sitting at Bible study this morning, this one particular version of  the song "The Solid Rock" came to my mind, and all afternoon my mind has been consumed with the words of that song and what all we have been experiencing.  I've been thinking about that house we visited that was built on a rock.  In reading some of the information on the builder, we learned that he was not a religious man, at least not in his early years.  How sad is it that he built his whole life centered around that rock and maybe never knew what it was like to build his house on the SOLID ROCK, on the firm foundation of Jesus Christ!  Our home IS built on the Solid Rock, and with that comes a whole lot of blessings.  They may not be material, but they are worth far more than all the collectibles housed under his roof!

     I'm finding great comfort in knowing that even though God may lead us into a room that extends way beyond our comfort level and make us wait there for a while, He will never let us fall to the ground or out of His grasp.  He'll also keep on strategically putting people in our lives who are willing to extend their hand to us and help us hang on for the ride.  Eventually He'll pull us back in, and we'll be standing on solid ground again. 

     Earlier today I had been sharing my fragile state of emotions with a few people and found myself explaining to them that I can be fine one minute and just a crying mess of tears the next, and it's been so frustrating for me.  Jokingly I've been calling myself "Old Faithful" because I just never know when I will erupt, but it's really been true.  One comment, one hug, one prayer -- anytime someone shows concern over Heath or our family -- can be enough to just get me all emotional.  It doesn't even have to be personal contact with anyone but simply something I read or write while sitting at my computer or hear playing on the radio. 

     Even though I'd much rather be able to hold it all together when people ask, I'm finding myself so thankful that people care and that they take the time to express their concern.  One friend just grabbed me and gave me a big hug the minute I walked in the church doors this morning.  Another friend just looked at me in the middle of our discussion time and said, "I'm bringing you a meal tonight."  Was that necessary?  No, not at all, but appreciated, yes.  Another friend at my table shared with me how she'd been specifically praying for Heath to find his comfort and strength in Jesus during those lonely times when thoughts of his condition and circumstances overwhelm him.  These are just a few examples of the love we've been shown, and we appreciate every single act of kindness so much!  What a blessing it is to know that even when we are at our weakest and most vulnerable points, other people are reaching out to us and pulling us closer to the heart of God.  Our hope is in Him alone.  He is our life . . . our strength . . . our song.  Listen to the song below.  May you find your strength in Him too. 

  

In Christ Alone - Travis Cottrell

A Sense of Normalcy

     It has been a long time since the tyranny of the urgent hasn't seemed to consume my life, and my house has been showing the effects of it for a while.  Yesterday morning my washer and dryer started clicking away at 6:30 a.m., and at midnight there was still a load going in the washer.  They ran all day long with all kinds of clothing and bedding items.  Praise the Lord for working machines!  A lot of my ironing got done, and the old pillows and sheets on our bed were even replaced with brand-new stuff!  In between loads I managed to tackle lots of paperwork on my desk, replace the furnace filter, and even cleaned the coffee pot with vinegar!  I felt like a totally new woman by the end of the day! 

     When Keaton got home from school, he asked Heath if he would help him carve his pumpkin.  It warmed my heart to see the two of them having fun together on this project, and it reminded me to never take for granted the simple little pleasures in life. 

     I'm thinking maybe Heath had just as much fun as Keaton did! 

     Then they went outside and took advantage of another beautiful fall day and threw around the football for a while. 

     Haley and Kelsey excused me from going to their last regular swim meet of the season over in Rock Island, but Tuesday night was senior night for Haley, and as a family we all went and had fun celebrating with her. 

     Earlier in the week Heath hadn't been feeling 100%, but a trip to the chiropractor on Wednesday morning has made a ton of difference for him.  Evidently when he had his seizure, he must have jarred his body really hard because a couple of his ribs had been thrown out of place, which we knew from another visit already, but now they were shifted again, and his spinal cord was being affected as well.  Combine that with a cold and some painful coughing and sneezing, and he was becoming increasingly more uncomfortable.  It's very tricky to discern when to call which doctor, but for now it seems as though we have made the right choice, and the last couple of days have been much better for him.  Thank you, Jesus! 

     It just feels as though this week has been a little more normal for us as a family.  The schedule hasn't been quite as intense, and we haven't had any major traumatic happenings, and for all of that, we are very thankful.  Harris thoroughly enjoyed a beautiful scenic drive in Wisconsin yesterday, and doing my Bible study with a cup of coffee on the deck in our back yard has become a treasured event for me these last few days.  God has given us some spectacular fall days, and we just need to make the most of them!

Our God is Greater - Chris Tomlin

The Waiting Game

     There are periods of time in our lives when we are called to wait for something whether we like it or not.  The waiting time may be as quick and decisive as a red light versus a green light, but other times the waiting period may be excruciatingly longer than we think is fair or necessary, and we just don't understand why.  Sometimes the end result is positive, but other times it's not, and then all we can do is trust that God has a reason or a better plan in mind, even when we can't possibly fathom what it is. 

     Harris and I wanted to take an Alaskan cruise for our 20th anniversary, but due to a myriad of family and life circumstances, it just didn't happen.  We kept dreaming of it and finally just took a leap of faith and booked it because we knew just how badly we needed some time away together.  Our 25th wedding anniversary happened back in January already, but our getaway wasn't scheduled to start until Sunday, September 5th.  The timing ended up being horrible because only 24 hours into the cruise, Harris's dad passed away from his 3-year battle with cancer.  We ended up coming home early, and now we will be waiting for that next niche of opportunity to try it again.  We are still completely mystified why God chose to thwart our plans in such a manner, but ultimately, our faith in God wins out when the feelings of frustration and bitterness threaten to consume us. 

     Last year my OB/GYN doctor recommended that I have a procedure done to help eliminate some female problems that have been haunting me for a few years already, but again, a variety of circumstances kept getting in the way.  To be honest, as a mom it's just always been easier to put the needs of our kids first, but finally I knew that it was time to schedule my surgery, so the preparatory measures were set in motion this summer already.

     On September 3, two days before we were to leave on our vacation, I went for another doctor appointment, a little begrudgingly because I felt as though what we needed to discuss could be done over the phone.  I was already extremely stressed going into it just because of all that was going on with Harris's dad and the looming decision of whether or not to leave for our cruise, but when my doctor explained to me some further complications that had shown up on my tests and mentioned to me that she needed to do a biopsy to rule out cancer, that just about put me over the edge.  That big horrible "C" word was not at all what I needed to hear, but that became a new reality for me to have to deal with in my inner being.  She explained to me that the chances of it were very slim, but nevertheless, it was something that we needed to rule out before proceeding.  We ended up scheduling a D&C and a biopsy to be done on September 30, and if it worked to go ahead and do the endometrial ablation procedure at the same time, she would.  Another waiting period was thrust upon us.

     After Heath was diagnosed with his tumor on September 29, we had a very difficult decision to make very quickly.  Do I go ahead with my surgery the next day or not?  How soon would the next step happen with Heath?  Would Iowa City call the next morning and say they wanted to see him that day or the next?  What if I wasn't well enough to go?  What if the biopsy that had to be done on me was cancerous and we were forced to deal with that at the same time as his brain tumor?  All of those questions were haunting my very weary heart and mind, but my wise husband lovingly and firmly said to me, "Jac, you just need to have your surgery tomorrow and get it behind you."

     We went ahead with the plan, he took me to the hospital for my outpatient procedures, and everything went very well.  By 3 p.m. Harris had me all settled in on the couch back home for a good long nap.  Totally unbeknownst to me, angels were appearing and taking care of my family while I couldn't.  My sister-in-law Steph delivered dinner and had it cooking in the oven, and my sister, Sheila, blessed me with a surprise visit!  While I was sleeping, she was doing my dishes, made a grocery run, and started making some freezer meals for our family.  God is so good!  My family allowed me to fully recuperate all weekend, and with great joy and thanksgiving to God, I am finally able to report that there is NO cancer!  Praise be to God!!!

     Just five days after my surgery, we made our way to Iowa City for Heath's first visit to the neurosurgical clinic, and we met with the head of that department.  We went into Tuesday's appointment not knowing at all what to expect, but we kind of assumed that they would want to run some more tests.  Instead, the doctor has advised us that the first step is to rule out whether Heath's tumor is something that just may have been there for a long time and is a nonissue OR whether it is something that is growing and needing to be removed.  The only way to determine that is to do a repeat MRI in four months.  Yes, four months.  We were all quite shocked by that kind of news.  Harris explained to him that we had already met our deductible for this year and just wondered if there was any way we could do it before the end of the year instead, and he said that would be fine.  I would imagine we'll be in for meeting our deductible again next year, but why go into 2011 knowing that we'll meet it when there's a chance we wouldn't.  Besides that, with the new healthcare reform bill, who really knows what all will happen. 

     The doctor also indicated that the seizure and the tumor may have nothing to do with each other, so he wants to send us to an epileptologist, a doctor who deals more exclusively with seizures, as well.  That doctor will help us determine what is going on with Heath.  He explained to us that brain surgery is not something to take lightly, and he felt that even doing a biopsy at this stage of the game would be rushing it.  He said that the headaches that Heath had been experiencing could just be stress related.  Lord knows we've been under a little stress around here!

     By the time he left the room, Jenny voiced what all of us were thinking.  "I'm confused," she said.  There were certain questions that were still lingering in my mind, but I hadn't asked them because I thought maybe they would be taking us to the other doctor's office next.  When we were at the checkout desk, the receptionist made us feel a little crazy for thinking such a thing and proceeded to explain to us that his patients were waiting till February to see him, and all she could tell us was that as a new patient, be sure and watch for anything that comes in the mail because only after we return some survey to that office will our appointment with him be scheduled.  That was not exactly comforting news, and we left even more confused. 

     Within an hour, we were headed back to our car and really felt as though we didn't have a lot of answers, and it took us the rest of the day to kind of come to grips with the fact that we were in for the waiting game of our lives.  The only thing that will rush it is if troubling symptoms occur, so we'll be on the constant lookout for those, but we're also going to take this God-given opportunity to pray for the tumor to miraculously be gone when we go back!  Feel free to pray with us that that be the case! 

Jenny's been so supportive throughout this whole thing!



Thank you, Lord, for this boy's constant sense of humor!


     Life has moved on this week a little more normally but with a very busy schedule:  a swim meet in Clinton on Tuesday night ~ a swim breakfast to be served at the high school early Thursday morning ~ a cookout to be hosted at our office on Thursday night ~ my uncle Steve and aunt Lynn's family came for a visit on Thursday night and left Friday morning ~ Primerica events in Coralville on Friday night and Saturday.  There is never a dull moment in our family!  Overall, Heath has felt pretty well, but he's been experiencing some random stomachaches.  We're learning that that may very well be a side effect from the Dilantin.  His headaches have not been as frequent this week!  Praise the Lord for that!  Probably the hardest thing for him to deal with right now is the fact that he can't drive for six months.  He's forced to figure out rides to and from school and is at the mercy of everyone else's schedules.  He did get to fly "home" from school one day though!  One of the friends he has met at college is a flight instructor, and Heath had been asking for a chance to fly with him someday, so it worked out one day this week for him to fly Heath to a nearby airport!  That was pretty cool for him.  Another friend of his even took him out for dinner and to a football game on Friday night, and he appreciated that so much.  Everyone's support, words of encouragement, and prayers mean so much to our family right now.  Thank you!!

     Very surprisingly, we received a phone call from the seizure doctor's office on Friday!!!  Maybe that checkout receptionist has a few things to learn in how to handle anxious patients?  We have now gone ahead and scheduled that appointment for November 10, so we are thankful for the fact that maybe we can have a few more of our questions answered sooner than later.  I took the opportunity to question a couple of nurses on some nagging questions and felt very much relieved by the time we hung up the phone.  Many people had been suggesting to us that we should be getting a second opinion, and our neurosurgeon's nurse assured me that if we wanted to do so that that would be fine and that the doctor would not be offended by that at all, but then she also assured me that he is very experienced and that if at any point along the way he feels as though we need to take more aggressive measures, he will let us know. 

     Even though the waiting is very hard, there is a sense of peace in my spirit that we are doing the right thing for now.  Obviously we are being overly cautious by constantly asking Heath how he is doing, but we are honestly realizing that we just need to take life one day at a time and enjoy each moment.  Only by the grace of God will we survive this waiting game!